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[06 Feb 2010|11:05am]
(wipes the dust off) Anyone still out there?
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[03 Feb 2007|03:51pm]
lmao I wanna go to the Justin Timberlake concert.
Who wants to go?
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[18 Jan 2007|11:43pm]
Karma's a Bitch

like OMG im like so happy
like omg im such a bitch to people but they kiss my ass anyways cause they dont know any better 
and omg Im so mature that I talk shit about people I dont know and make fun of them
ahhh like omg Im so happy
but little do I know everyone talks shit about me and thinks im a bitch
well lady, I hope you fall on your face I dont think ive ever met someone so fucking rude in my life.

ew you honestly make me sick

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[14 Dec 2006|02:52pm]
just one more thing:
to all the people that say "Ive changed" or that Im not close with anymore.. ask yourself this.. What have you done to make the situation better? How am I to blame for everything that goes wrong in the friendship? How is it just my fault that we dont talk.. cause when have you ever made the effort? Im done saying my I miss you's and what not. Im not doing it anymore. Lets see what its like when I really dont care.
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[14 Dec 2006|12:38pm]
[ mood | scared ]

Long time no talk.. Lets just get to it.

Last Friday morning I was awoke by my mother saying.. "I think your brother is dying". I rushed out of my bed and ran up to his room. He layed on the bed a pale grey color and his fingernails were blue. I wasent in shock.. I just took action right away. I looked at his eyes and they were in the back of his head. His chest was cold and I couldnt feel a strong pulse. My mom kept yelling at me asking if she should call 911.. I said without hesitation.. yes. Now after that it just felt like slow motion.. As I layed there with him and waited for the ambulance.. They arrived 10 mins later. They pushed me off the bed and started to put IV's in him. I just stood in the corner and watched. The men kept telling me to leave.. but I couldnt. Soon whatever they gave him started to work and he was comming back to life.. I can remember the men kept saying "Hes fighting for his life". He started to fight them and was saying these weird things that made no sense as if he was seeing something that wasent there. He was rushed to the hospital where we waiting for 8 hours. It was just crazy. He overdosed. Hes okay now though.

Lately I just feel so blah. Everything is so different. Im so sick of everything changing. I dont know how many things have changed within the past 3 months. I find myself really down.. but I dont tell anyone. Ive tried to just act like nothings bothering me but really.. its killing me inside. I try to be cool with everything and let things go.. but then people get mad when I keep to myself and try to stay out of drama. I dont get it. Maybe I need a change. Its just ive been in relationships sense I was in 7th grade... So I have never really been single.. so its all new. I have to accept being alone so much. I cant depend on people. Im very good when it comes to getting things done.. but as for having that other half to come home too and what not.. that gets hard when your alone. I just wish I had someone to hang out with, that felt the same as I did.. and Didnt want a relationship, just a great friendship. I cant find it tho (Sigh)

The world works in mysterious ways.

Nigga Timmy.

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[30 Nov 2006|11:13am]
Journal is back on..

honestly I have a new outlook on life. Im not dealing with people's immature shit anymore. Like the ones that make entries just to write shit cause they think it will bother the other person.. its just a plain out joke to begin with. Its called go to that person's face and tell them how you feel. haha but I guess people dont really see how they really are.. but its okay everyone else does.. thats why some people have no friends :D

Yesterday was so much fun. Went on an adventure in Detroit. Drove around Belle Isle and then in downtown. It was crazy sometimes but it was still cool. Ed and Jimmy are really cool people and I love there place! (I could be that girl sleeping on that futon soon) haha little inside joke.

Im working. which is sweet.

Im leaving behind all the bullshit and just living my life as the day comes.

Our house is back to normal which brings a sigh of relief.

Im going back to sleep. tata
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[13 Nov 2006|05:12am]
Today is my Birthday..
which means, every trip to Canada. Im there!
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[12 Nov 2006|02:05pm]
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[12 Nov 2006|01:25pm]
This thing is back on.
cause I just have to write down the funny shit that happens.


Kristen: My room is dark colored
Me: Its a racecar
(because her room is lime green on the two sides and then black down the middle) haha you just had to be there.

(Talking to John Shaw)
Me: Dude I didnt know that Jake was married and had a kid. I just found out by looking at his wedding album.
John: Yeah I know man, isnt it crazy
Me: Yeah
John: Imagine being his brother..
Me: Who is his brother!?
(Lmao wow but then ali was pointing to John and I was like Ohhhhhhh! Im retarted. hahah that was probley the best one)

man Im just loving life right now!
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[24 Oct 2006|12:54pm]
This journal is deleted. I will NO longer write in it.
I find livejournal to be FULL of Drama that I know Im better than. Im not deleting it fully, because If I do that then after 30 days its gone for good and I still want to look back on how I felt years ago.

Im moving in a new direction in life. Even if Im standing alone, without any girls then thats fine by me. I would hang out with guys than girls any day. Im just so sick of the drama Girls bring. Yes, I can bring drama but like now when Im talking to a girl and she just starts talking shit about someone.. I just think in my head "are you serious right now.. why am I even talking to her.. who am I to know she doesnt talk shit about me?" Its just a waste of your time to talk about someone.. You have more to life then just hating everything.. Thats what I used to be.. the hater or everything. I was put threw too many challeneges at a young age and that has made me into a strong person today, and that makes me confident that Im stronger than most of you. I dont care how that sounds.. but I was pushed around a lot cause people would doubt my strenght. But I know in a battle I could win, with most of you :) So Im done with all the hate, Im going to have peace in my life. Its time. and Iam ready to start over with positive thoughts. NOT negitive.

and with the "LOVE" life. haha Im so done with guys. Yes I have new guy friends that Iam so happy for.. but Relationships do nothing but hurt friendships. I would have so many great friendships with people if I didnt have relationships with them.. and Its funny how people go around saying me and Simbo are a couple and are all over each others "Shit" When THat night we talked like 2 times? and Me and Simbo have talked and said we will always be close friends.. never will a relationship happen casue we know how they all end. We were just going threw some of the same emotions and we looked to each other for support and help. So yes continue to talk and give me dirty looks, I could honestly care less. But Iam going to be single for a very long time. I havent been single sense 8th grade.. Ive spent my whole teenage life being in a relationship, its time to have fun and not be tied down and Its feels good sometimes, you do get lonely but thats where your friends come in.

Well I guess this was my farwell entry.. Im done with this.. maybe when Im way older and people have matured I will write agian, but I dont think so. New life, New Slate. Its time for a change. and Im ready.
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[22 Oct 2006|12:26pm]
No matter what happens. At the end of the night/day, I have some great people in my life that choose to stand by my side. Simbo Thank you so much for all your caring ways. Im glad that we've become like best friends, Its good to finally have a guy whos a best-friend then be in a relationship and have a friendship ruined. I trust him and it feels good, cause these days I feel pretty lonely, and I cant take peoples shit anymore. and Im NOT going too. Ignore is the key. So after all that is said and done from here on out, its over and done with. People need to worry about their own lives and not mine cause Im going in the right path, people just wouldnt know cause they dont hang out with me anymore. Its cool though. Im over it.

Got my candles lit
and watching TV / relaxing today.
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[21 Oct 2006|07:57pm]
"wow steph. you are fucking psycho. and YOU would be surprised how much everyone has wanted you to get the fuck away for a very long time. you don't even know any of my friends so really. you have no room to talk. so i think you need to shut your mouth and do everyone a favor and go the fuck away allready. and yeah.. they pretend to like me? at least i have a fucking personality unlike you. and if you didnt notice your "best friend" was the first to say justin needs to find a girl that is not just good looking. so who is pretending to like who. yup. im so fake. youre the fake one and jealous. and OMG youre right. they must be just pretending to like me. is that why rob and everyone calls me to hang out even when rich isnt around? oh. it must be them pretending. wow. get the fuck over yourself. seriously. youre trash. and its sad how you cant even say anything to me but you go and have to write it in your LJ. thats all you ever can do becuz youre pathetic. have a nice life bitch. its not my fault you have a shitty personality and wont get anywhere at all in life."

hahah What a JOKE right!?
This is comming from a Girl, who barley works, just got a car and shes like 19 and gets money from her Daddy. wahhhhhhhhhhh Go cry to someone who cares. Cause noone does for her. But wait Im jealous! Jealous of what.. ? thats what Im still wondering.

hahaha so here's another LJ entry for you bitch.
go get fucked in your ass.

oh and another thing.. Why the fuck are you still reading my journal.. stupid bitch. honestly.
4 comments|post comment

[18 Oct 2006|12:06am]
Had a blast. God wasted and it felt so good to just have a good time with everyone. First me and Arlene just drove around and waited for everyone to get back from the Homecoming dance. First we stopped by Coreys and hung with him for a little bit. Then flea and Stephanie picked him up and we headed to Chandlers. We stayed there for about a 1/2 hour and left cause there was too many people so then we headed to Bree B's and everyone from class of 06 was there so that was a lot of fun. Had a nice little chat with Slata! Then after that we had to leave so we followed Wurm, we didnt know where he was going but turns out he went to Melissa's. Well Mike and Tony were there, which really upset me because I felt like Tony was mad at me. I didnt know they were there and I didnt know where Tom was going so it wasent my fault. But before we entered her house I went to give someone a hug or something and fell right on the ground really hard. Omg I scraped my elbow really bad and bruised my buttcheek. Talk about hurt. But then I had a little chat with Sarah G in the bathroom about our fathers and how they both passed away which made me cry more. Then as the night passed I tried to talk to mike But of course he didnt want to hear it and kept passing out so I just gave up and Passed out on the couch. Woke up the next morning and took Arlene home.

Today while I was picking up my BC my mom called me and asked if I was home. I replied no and she said.. well someone might come by to look at the house. I paused for a moment and was like what.. and shes like well Im planning on selling the house cause I just cant afford it anymore. and I just said.. well looks like Im gonna have to get my own apartment now and said I have to go and hung up. I was just in shock and didnt feel good at all. I needed to talk to someone really bad, So I went to Mikes house. His car was there and I knocked on the door 2 times and he didnt answer. I know he didnt on purpose and that really hurt cause I really needed someone to talk to cause I was just so upset about the whole moving situation and I just needed someone to be there for me. and to a surprise he wasent. So from here on out Im not going to call him. If I really did mean something to him then maybe he will call me in the future, Im not really sure if he will or not and thats what makes me upset about this whole situation. I thought I knew him and I trusted him with my heart and now he wont even talks to me and when I see him in person and ask him about it, he gives me excuses. Why would you do that to someone you said I love you too for the first time ever. Ugh it just disapoints me so much. But im done crying about it.

Tomarrow Im hanging out with Simbo and may watch the boys play Basketball at Huron Park so that should be fun. I need to get out more and thats what Im going to do and I NEED TO GET A JOB.. anyone know whos hiring? please help a sista out. And after I hang out with Simmmmbo, Arlene is gonna put more blonde in my hair :D yay!

so that is all

leave me some love. I could use it.
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[12 Oct 2006|02:03pm]
I just got down watching Dawson's Creek
and it was the episode where Dawson loses his father.
Boy did it bring things back.
at one point Dawson says, it doesnt feel real.
Thats one thing I'll never forget when I asked Krista Burgess "Is this real?"
Im still bawling my eyes out.
It just takes me back
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[07 Oct 2006|02:22am]

Cell is back on.
Call if needed

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[06 Oct 2006|03:38pm]
[ mood | confused ]

Kay I need your guys opinion.
and please comment cause NoOne does anymore..

I decided that I dont want to go to Macomb... Its not for me so Im not going to waste my money on classes I'll probley just fail and lose my money.
I either want to go to Specs Howard (School of broadcasting) or David Pressley (Cosmotology School).. what do you guys think would be best for me?
I was leaning more towards Specs but I really want to go to David Press.. now cause Doing hair would be so much fun. Ive been hanging out with Arlene a lot lately and she's attending there. Everything she tells me about it seems really fun. Its like you learn how to pamper yourself while u go to school. It just seems like it would be a fun enviroment to work in. She also did my hair yesterday. (Dark brown underneath and then blonde/brownish highlights) and she did a really good job. Its like $8,000 too so that isnt bad and the location of the school is in Royal Oak.. so it just seems like it would all be really fun. Im excited. I just hope that everything works out. and I know that not attending Macomb will not be a bad thing for me. I know it isnt for me so Im not going to waste my money like I already said. and everyone who goes there always bitches about how they hate it.. so why do something that your unhappy with? 

Life has been okay.. Things have changed in the love department which totally shocked me but I guess I just have to move on. and just hope that things work out in the end. If he actually freaking opens his eyes and relizes things. Fall has arrived and im totally in love with it. Now I just have to do my favorite things.. going to the Cider mill and going to many Haunted houses :D and get a costume for Halloween :D I just love fall sooooooooo much. The smell of the air just puts me in a good mood.

well Im off.. to watch more Rachael Ray

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[02 Oct 2006|08:01pm]

lots of things in my life has changed.

Call my Home phone if you need to reach me. 777-1253

and my internet isnt on.. it got shut off cause my mom didnt pay the bill. 
So Iam totally shut off to the world right now.
so good bye.

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[29 Sep 2006|03:49am]

I remember when it all first began, we were tight right from the start
It wasn't long before you came on strong trying hard to win my heart
I played hard-to-get but I couldn't help but give up my heart in the end
You were thoughtful, careful not to hurt the relationship

Used to talk for hours on end of our dreams while we lay in bed
I miss those days when you stayed awake. Now, you just
              Roll over and Snore!

Im done.. you were just a lie from the start. 

oh and have another drink and drive yourself home.

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[28 Sep 2006|07:23pm]

Today I went to Ann Arbor for Cast Callings for the Real World..
I knew I wouldnt get picked but I just wanted to see what it would be like 
cause Ive wanted to be on that show sinse like the 5th season?
It was a cool experiance. Nothing at all of what I expected.
They didnt interview you one on one, they interviewed you with 10 other people.
and another thing.. not good to have it at a bar. We got there around 10:30 am 
and people were already drinking/getting drunk waiting to be called.
and I cant tell you how many people said "yeah im going to work after this"
Good to drink and go to work :) Not. 
But I think you have a better shot at turning in a video then actually going in person.
and I want to be on that show so Im gonna start entering it every year :D Until I get on it. 
and I will damn it!

ps. Ann Arbor is beautiful

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[27 Sep 2006|07:21pm]
Today was one of those days where I just feel like a big pile of shit.
like I dont have nothing going for me. nor do I have anyone there for me.

So.. I was just bitching about how I feel like a loser cause I dont have a 
-Havent applied to college yet
-Dont have any friends

and we sat there and he goes 
"I'll be your friend"
and it made me smile.

me and him are actually starting to have a good relationship by helping each other out.. and trying to help eachother with our dumbass relationships. Its really nice to acutally feel a connection with him, cause there has been so many bumps in the road of our family. But Im glad I have someone here who cares.

and one more thing before I leave..
I would have never thought you would do this to me.
You obviously dont know the meaning of the word love.
I guess it was just one big lie from the start.... and to think I acutally trusted you.
Im a fool.
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